Reality Sets In, or Obama Chokes
Open Letter to President Obama:
So how are you doing there, buddy? Seems like you’ve had a couple of rough
days weeks,months, eh?
Trust me, I know about those. Running my own business, which at the moment is way behind on everything, every day is stressful. The power company wants money to keep the lights on, the parts store wants money to send me more parts, and of course, the tax people want their money for God-only-knows-what they do with it.
In the end, I have to make decisions about what to do, how to do it, and how to (somehow) keep everyone happy. It sometimes seems that the moment I see some sign of daylight on the horizon, another call comes in from another collection person who wants their money now. And of course, on the business side of it, everyone wants their service done for them two hours ago, and sometimes want an explanation of something that has nothing to do with what their actual problem really is. And it’s always too expensive.
Seems in your case, it’s been pretty cool being the President so far; you get to have those awesome parties with celebrities coming in to give a private performance for you, and you can bring in the best food whenever you have the craving for it. (As a side note, if Bret Michaels would like to bring in CC, Bobby, and Rikki to play a private Poison show in my back yard next weekend, and if George, the guy who ran that little gyro joint just on the square in downtown Xania, Crete, would like to cater it for me, please leave a message in the comments section, and I’ll get hold of you to work out the details.)
So yes, as Jon Stewart said about that several months ago, you seem to be doing all the stuff that we all would be doing if we suddenly had all the power in the universe at our disposal. Nothing like surprising your wife with a quick spin on Air Force One to a specially-prepared night on the town in New York, taking in the best dinner and Broadway show, is there?
But, as always, there is a price to pay for all the good stuff. Seems that, fairly or not, you are taking the brunt of the heat for the damaged oil well in the Gulf of Mexico. Now I know that you didn’t blow up the piping, and that you can’t go out there and wave your magic wand to stop it. BP seems to have most of the issue here, but truth be told, they are probably one of the best entities available to try to get it plugged up. So I think you might be well advised to not antagonize them too much, else they may decide to just walk away and dump the whole mess on your desk.
However, the containment and the cleanup, those do tend to fall more into your sphere of influence. I’ve been hearing the last few days about several issues, including a ready supply of boom, hay, hair, and Governor Jindal basically flipping you the bird and saying he was proceeding with containment efforts without your approval or EPA environmental impact studies.
The Boom story bothers me a bit. Apparently, a company in Maine has cranked out a very large supply of containment boom. Now I’m not an oil spill containment expert, but as I understand it, this “boom” is sort of like those pool noodles? and it is designed to hold waterborne oil in a set area and absorb it if it comes into contact. Story was, that the Coast Guard rejected this supply as being substandard; specifically, it didn’t use “universal couplers” between sections. Later stories contradict that excuse, as testing has shown this particular company to produce superior product. Even if it’s not the best there is available, isn’t something there to lay down better than nothing? I mean, if I spill some oil, and don’t have a bag of oil dry handy, I might try to use some rags or a mop to try to contain it, rather than just let it spread all over my floor.
Bottom line, Mister Obama, is that there is a problem. This problem must be addressed, in a specific and targeted manner. To compare to my own business, I don’t think my next customer is going to really care that six months from now I’d like to purchase a new piece of equipment to let me do services that they don’t really need right now, they only care that I solve the problem they are having at this moment.
So don’t mistake the anxiety the public may be feeling for this oil mess as a cry for a “green utopia.” As has been gone over repeatedly, and demonstrated repeatedly where it has been tried, the technology either does not exist, or is not efficient where it does. Believe me, if you try to exploit this “crisis” for an unrelated political agenda that We. Do. Not. Want! it will be remembered both this November, and in two years when we decide whether you keep your job or not.
In the meantime, try to enjoy your kobe steaks. I’ll be thinking of you while I’m savoring the stitziki and singing out loud to “Talk Dirty To Me.”